Signing off

Folks, I leave for vacation in a few short days and have approximately 1,000,011 things left to do before we leave so I’m saying adios for 2 weeks.  I will return with pictures, stories and maybe a great tan.  Probably not because I have the world’s whitest skin that only turns different shades of red but I’ll try.

Wishing you all a fabulous 2 weeks and I’ll be sure to have a drink for every one of you- so leave me a bon voyage comment just to let me know exactly how many drinks I should consume (not that I won’t be consuming enough on my own ). 

Listening

How many of us go through our day just doing what needs to be done without even really being part of things? 

I don’t do plastic bags. Ever!  This is a growing trend in my community as more and more stores are offering re-usable alternatives for those evil plastic things.  My point though,is that I could count on one hand how many times I have said at the check out, “I don’t need a bag”  and have not had to repeat myself.  Even when the person acknowledges my statement with a nod or “um hum”- they still put my stuff in a bag.  Some even get aggitated when I tell them (for the 2nd time) that I don’t need a bag and they have to take the stuff back out. Why are you aggitated at me? I told you I didn’t need a bag!! Is it my fault, you weren’t listening?

This morning when I got to the check out, the lady smiled and said hello. I said Hello back and as I was putting the stuff on the counter, I said “oh, and I don’t need any bags”. She looked me in the eye and said “okay dear” and the first item she scans, she puts in a bag.  I made eye contact with her and everything and she STILL put the first item in the bag.  When I repeated to her that “Oh, no, I don’t need a bag” she laughed and said “oh, you did say that. I don’t know where my mind is” and we just laughed it off.  But it made me think during the walk home, do I do that? Do I falsely acknowledge what people are saying to me only to have it go in one ear and out the other?  Do I just hear people or do I actually listen to them?

How many people do you think actively listen?

 

Barely made it

I barely made it through this afternoon without bursting into tears of frustration. I am amazed sometimes at how a bad day for my kids can be so infuriatingly (word?) frustrating for me. My skin literally felt like it was boiling with each scream and crying fit that was had. The baby (who CAN NOT) go without nap, went without nap and by 4pm was a complete disaster. The older one was trying to get more attention because the youngest was getting a lot with each fit he worked himself into.  By 4:30, I ordered dinner and put the younger one in the car in the hopes of a power nap to at least get us throough dinner. Thankfully, it worked because I was at my breaking point.  After dinner, my mom and I took the boys up to the store for a treat.  That helped my mood immensly.  They were strapped in and could not fight and we were getting our blood pumping in a good way- exercise. Now I am sitting here with a glass of wine and spoonful of chocolate, thankful for early bed times.  It is ironic because this morning I was oohhing and aaahhing over baby clothes and newborns at the mall, pining for a third baby but by this afternoon questioning my abilities to keep cool in the thickness of a bad day.  Another week and  a half and we will be out of dodge on vacation and I can almost smell the ocean air in excitment.  Sun, Sand, big boat, swimming with dolphins. Exactly what the doctor prescribed!

This week will be full of packing and getting things ready for our 10 day departure. Fun stuff for me being the planner that I am.  Ièm making books for Carter for the plane. heès really into picture books that have real pictures but all the ones we have are quite big and heavy. Too heavy to carry a few of them in a carry on, so I thought Ièd make him a few books.  Taking pictures from magazines and just gluing to construction paper. Much lighter.  I am also thinking markers that only mark on the paper they are designed for and maybe some cars and trains.  I am a little worried about Carter as he hates having to sit long enough to eat a meal never mind a 2.5hr flight but we will manage somehow. Maybe I should bring a couple down pairs of ear plugs to hand out to surrounding passengers though .

Well, I am off to put my feet up and take a few deep breathes.  I hesitated about posting such mundaneness but this is me at the moment.  Sometimes the days do not allow me to dig below the surface.

Memory

I’m pretty sure that reading this post, by a blogger who does magical things with words, and having a conversation with mylozmom today about our kids becoming teeenagers is what sparked this train of thought while making dinner tonight:

I’m cooking dinner-  an egg, some bacon and cheese on an english muffin with ketchup. Mmmm. Oh and enjoying a big glass of white wine.  When a thought occured to me. If my dad were standing right beside me at that moment, what would I do? And the answer was, ask him how on God’s green earth did he make such a mean over easy egg?  I have tried and tried and tried but I can not for the life of me get it the way his was.  I didn’t really like eggs when I was a teenager so whenever he cooked them I didn’t really have an interest in it. What I wouldn’t do now for that answer.

Then my memory brought me back to an incident that was pretty big for me at the time but would love the chance to tell my dad how I really feel about it now.

I’m about 11 or 12 (going on 30 of course) and we’re sitting at the dinner table eating dinner. My sister who was a pretty sassy youngster was acting up at the table.  My mom, who was pretty high strung back then with stress from her job, couldn’t take anymore and told my sister that if she didn’t stop, she was going to her room and she’d get a spank.  My sister kept up what she was doing and my mother followed through with her threat and proceeded to take her up to her room and spank her.  I, the over protective big sister,  that I am, hated hearing my sister cry, then the sound of the slap on her bottom, the door closing and her crying some more.  She was MY little sister and I was the only one who could be mean her. (It’s the right of the older one right?) I couln’t stand to hear her cry and I got up from the table and said “I hate this family” while putting my dinner in the garbage and went up to my room. 

Well, my dad, who was a laid back guy was totally over whelmed by the whole stressful situation and I guess my actions were the straw that broke the camels back.  He came into my room, grabbed me by the arms and tried to force me back down the stairs. I can’t remember now what he was saying to me. I just started screaming and my mom came to the stairs and yelled at him to let me go.  I guess his voice of reason kicked in and he let go of me and went back downstairs. I stayed on the stairs crying. Then I went to my room.  My dad had never done anything like that EVER. I was daddy’s little girl until puberty made me space from him a bit.  I was shocked.  About an hour later he knocked on my door and asked if he could talk to me. I told him no and that I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I didn’t talk to him for 3 weeks after that.  I was happy at the time to see him sad when he would try to ask me about my day and I wouldn’t respond. Like I had the royal flush in this game we were playing. All though it wasn’t a game for him.  How much we take for granted when we’re young. I feel sorry now. Now that I’m a parent and understand. Understand how sometimes we get over whelmed and stress gets the better of us in certain situations.

I’ve thought about that situation over the years but never brought it up again with him.  Now I wish I had. I know it’s not something he ever forgot and I’d like him to know that I never meant what I said about hating being a part of the family and I never meant to hurt him as deeply as I did. I’d love to know what he wanted to say to me that night. Even if it just “sorry”. I never knew or understood at the time how deeply it had hurt him. 

This is one life lesson that I will be sure to carry with me and remember when I come into a similar situation with my kids as I know I will. No one is perfect. But when I do, I absolutely won’t hold back saying sorry in the after math.

Spring

Spring has sprung-   YEAH!

 

Motivation

I got this link in an e-mail and it’s too good not to share.  With doing our wills up, naturally we’ve been talking about the details of our wishes upon our death.  This is not weird for me as it’s something that was talked about a lot in my family.  Weirdly (or not weird to me) it used to be at the dinner table.  In talking about it now, I have often thought about what I would want to say to my kids if I knew I was going to die before they were older.  This pretty much sums it up:

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw

Have a good weekend all.

Travelled

We’re going on vacation the end of this month and I can not wait!  It got me thinking about all the other places I’ve been. It wasn’t until I met hubby that I actually travelled outside the country.  As a child we only travelled to the province where my parents were from – Newfoundland.  After I met hubby we travelled south, through out the states and carribean.  This vacation at the end of the month will have us cruising along the south Carribean.  

Anyway, I thought I’d challenge myself to write about the places I’ve visited in as few words as possible.  2 sentences at most. Here I go (in no particular order):

Calgary, AB (The Rockies) -  Absolutely breathe taking. Mother Nature at her finest.

Denver, Colorado- The Mile High City. I was told it couldn’t flood, but it did when I was there.

Florida (different cities)-  Touristy. 

Montreal, PQ- Fashionable.

Newfoundland-  Also breathe taking. Mother Nature at her most powerful.

New york -  Buzzing with life.  

Las Vegas, Nevada- What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  This statement is true ;).

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina- Sandy.

Maine-  Intriguingly Old. 

Washington, D.C.-  Powerful, old buildings. 

Pennsylvania-  Spacious.  Nice to drive through.

Mayan Riviera, Mexico-  Hot.  Relaxing.

  Eastern Carribean Cruise- The Ultimate vacation. 

Hrm… it definitly takes something away describing them in so few words.  Doesn’t sound very fun or interesting at all when put this way.  Maybe i’ll write about each trip individually, on the days where words or topics are at a loss for me.

What about you? Where have you travelled? Or what was the most memorable place you’ve travelled and why?

Moment

I had a moment this morning.  Time stopped just long enough for me to stop in my tracks and really breathe in the moment.  It’s warm today but it’s also gloomy and really windy. I woke today and told myself, we were not doing anything today. No errands, no nothing. Just hang out and see where it takes us.  Well, just hanging out brought us outside for a walk despite the weather.  Carter loved it and Cooper wanted to go back home to play (he doesn’t like the wind) but it was in the middle of our walk, in search of bird nests, that my moment came.  My steps slowed, my hair blew wildly around my face. I looked up and noticed how fast the clouds were moving. The air had the smell of spring and the birds were singing their beautiful songs.  I closed my eyes and a feeling of contentment and yes!, yes!, this is what it’s all about- this life thing- washed over me.  I’m doing it. I’m living my dream and creating my legacy and I’m smack dab in the middle of the best part of it.  It was as if some greater presence, put a hold on just one moment long enough to wrap it up and give it to me as a gift to open and cherish. And cherish I do.  I am extremely fortunate for all that I have and I know this and remind myself daily.  But this morning, I was given a moment in which time, for one split second, stopped and let me breathe it all in.  I’m so glad I took the time today to ‘just be’ because I think I would have missed that moment if I had been too busy with errands or all the other daily chores. 

Sometimes you just need to wake up and say ”today I’m just going to see where life takes me and let life lead the way.”  You never know what gifts or moments you may be given.